How to crash in style

Unit's picture
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2-Old and I got out for a little ride at Castlewood Park the other day, and it was a blast. I was really bombing some downhill runs and feeling superior. I may not have set any records as far as some of the local racers are concerned, but compared to *my* usual abilities...I was really flying. I was really enjoying that feeling.

With the good comes the bad....

Later on we were out on the Blue Ribbon loop and once again I was feeling good. I was seeking out the difficult lines and tackling them with all I had to offer. We came to the first big climb and that was where it happened.

I went off the front in a flurry of excitement. I was climbing fast and came to a switchback with a bunch of exposed roots that were weathered into steps. These roots radiated out from a large tree that partially obscured the large log laying across the trail as you exit the switch back.

Now, some of you might think that this large log would be the cause of my yard sale. You would be correct but not in the manner you might think....

These roots were spaced about 2 to 3 feet apart so that when the front end went over one, the rear would hit that previous root either just before or just after I would set the front wheel down. My pace was slowing with the increasing grade and my rhythm was declining with each successive root. My front wheel was approaching the last root/step as I spotted my line around the big tree...it was this instant that I began to contemplate negotiation of the big log.

My momentary shift of concentration from the gauntlet of root steps to the big log was just the opportunity that the final root was searching for. My front wheel turned to follow the line I desired as I contacted this final root. The wheel must have been confused as to whether to roll up the root or auger in...it paused for a moment and the front tire compressed hard....the wheel had resolved to stay put. In an instant I felt the rigid fork flex backward as my inertia loaded it. The rear wheel started to hinge up as I vaulted over the bars. It was at that moment that all the energy was released.

Like a catapult, the tire rebounded, and the fork unloaded as the bike lunged back down the hill. Gravity was on its side, but spring effect of the front end positively SHOT the bike backward down the hill toward 2-Old who was climbing up behind me.

The bike tumbled like a true Karate Monkey doing flips (every time landing on its tires and bounding further down the trail) as it set it's sites on 2-old like an old-seeking missile. I yelled something intending to caution him that the bike was coming his way...fast...but for the life of me, I can not recall what I said exactly.

Later, at dinner, 2-Old reported that I had said something along the lines of "here comes my bike, try not to scratch it up"...I am sure he will comment with what he really heard.

Good rides are just that, but a good crash makes it memorable. I can be sure it was one spectacular crash that will make this ride memorable for a long time to come. No one got hurt, and we both wish we had a video of it...that bike was positively flailing!

Mark EWERS's picture

That was pretty much it

"Here comes my bike, try not to scratch it up" is about as good an approximation of what I heard as there is. At the time I struggling up that grade and thinking about that tricky corner coming up.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of you going spread eagle over the bars. The bike was ass-over-teakettle, ready to begin its tumble down the hill toward me. That's when self preservation mode kicked in. I started looking for safe harbor from where I could survey the carnage and either have a good laugh at your expense or call the paramedics.

It was somewhere in the middle of all that I thought I heard you say something about not scratching your bike, which immediately told me you were OK.

Unit's picture

Classic!

That must have been a hoot to watch. I should have simply yelled, "fore!"....Caddy Shack style.

My wife asked about this whole thing (she had not been clued that I had a crash until she read my blog....oops). I felt compelled to share with her the "Donkey Kong" experience you must have had...it is not enough to negotiate a difficult climb on a hot day, but you had to dodge a flailing Monkey too.

Mark EWERS's picture

Singlespeed version of Men in Black

You know the scene in MIB where they shoot down the alien spacecraft and it crashes back to earth, grinding to a halt mere inches in front of their feet? That's pretty much how the scene with your Karate Monkey played out in front of me.

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