Two Wheel Blogs

I did not do ANY original thinking here. I lifted this from a forum. Some are creative, some are not. Perhaps you can relate to some...perhaps you *are* some.

Enjoy...or not. Feel free to post up some more if you got 'em.

Half-wheeler -- Someone who always seems to keep their front wheel slightly ahead of the person beside them, pushing the pace.

One-speed -- Guy who always seems to ride the same speed or pace no matter the road conditions, slope, purpose of the ride, or mood of the group. Particularly troublesome on recovery rides.

Broom or sweep -- Someone who hangs with the slowest riders at the back of the pack on group rides to make sure they finish OK, also helping those with mechanical problems and flats.

Pathlete - the guy that roams the bike path on my commute looking for a race, usually comes hammering up from behind only to jump away on the next "hill" with lots of glances back so he knows that you know that he knows he dropped you.

Gomer - a doofus or goofball for any number of reasons

Squirrel - someone with poor pack riding skills and/or a rider that is unsafe to ride near due to erratic movement, etc.

Digger - bike crash

Techno-Weenie - similar to poseur. A person that buys all the latest and greatest stuff, high-end bikes and equipment and such

On your left/On your right - code word for a Cat 4 racer that doesn't realize it is not necessary to inform others to hold their line

All show and no go -- A not so good rider with a state of the art bike and gear.

Beaten like a rented mule -- see off the back.

bowling for dollars -- A rider crashes and takes down most or all of the Peloton.

brick -- Bad climber, good descender. Opposite of: kite.

driver -- Someone always on the front upping the tempo eg He’s a hell driver.

Freida -- Female Fred.

granny gear -- a very low gear, say 39 x 28. (So low your grandmother could turn it).

gut spray, gopher juice -- What gets splattered over your legs when a truck runs over fresh road pizza.

dive bomber - jackass that goes into the corner on the outside and over sweeps to the inside frequently swiping out front wheels of adjacent riders.

wheel sucker, guy who never pulls in a break aka, the guy you just put into the ditch

one lap wonder. guy who does the group ride, beats up on people the first lap or section of the ride only to cut it short and head home. extra credit if he talks some smack while he does it.

bike path champ, aka: bike path lance and plenty of similar...
guy who rides fast as hell but does it on multi use paths, often cursing at kids on trikes and old ladies with their dog. aka: triathlete

echlon, drafting at a side of the rider in front due to sidewinds. (hopefully adjusting their pace line rotation in respect)

triathlete: guys who don't know how to turn, or ride in a paceline, wear sleeveless jerseys, with no socks, 160 psi in the tires, gu on the top tube, and ride 25mph on the 15mph multi use path

Tuesday Night Hero.................Guy who never races, but loves to drive the pace on Tuesday, when your legs are still feeling like rubber from a weekend of racing.

"Gym Class Allstars"--Its term we had in high school for those kids who didn't play any real sports, but they acted like the biggest jocks in gym class. You know the kid who slams the hot chick in the face with the dodgeball and then celebrates with a fist pump.

carpet sprint - What happens when you ride off the rollers.

gutterball - Strung out in the gutter in a crosswind.

human crayons - Cat. 5 racers.

PowerBarf - Maybe that Berry bar wasn’t such a good idea after all.

caveman - animal

laughing boys - jolly roadies off the back

pack fodder - you know what this one means